Archive for May, 2006

A guy bought a new fridge for  his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and  hung a sign on it saying: “Free to good  home.  You want it, you take it.” For  three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice  at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this  deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read:  “Fridge for sale $50″. The next day someone stole it. 
Caution! These people  Vote!

While looking at a house, my  brother asked the real estate agent which direction was North because, he  explained, he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning. She  asked, “Does the sun rise in the North?” When my brother explained that the  sun rises in the East, (and has for  sometime), she shook her head  and said, “Oh, I don’t keep up with that stuff”
She ALSO votes!

I used to work in technical  support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual  who asked what hours the call centre was open. I told him, “The number  you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.” He responded, “Is that  Eastern or Pacific time?” Wanting to end the call quickly, I said,  “Pacific.”
He ALSO  votes!

My colleague and I were eating  our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the  administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to  the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but “didn’t think  she’d get sunburned because the car was moving”.
She ALSO votes!

My sister has a lifesaving tool  in her car. It’s designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets  trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.
My sister ALSO votes!

My friends and I were on a beer  run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a  big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave  us a 20% discount…
He ALSO votes!

I was hanging out with a friend  when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a  chain. My friend said, “Wouldn’t the chain rip out every time she turned  her head?” I  explained that a person’s nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is  turned…
My friend ALSO votes!

I couldn’t find my luggage at  the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told  the woman there that my bags never showed  up. She smiled and told me not to  worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good  hands. “Now,” she asked me, “has your plane  arrived yet?”
SHE ALSO votes!

To those who understand ~ No  explanation is necessary.
For those who don’t understand  ~ No explanation is possible.